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Posts tagged animal death:

oof some life stuff under the cut.

don't read if you're seriously triggered by animal death. I saw it happen and can't get it out of my head so keep in mind that I describe it in detail.

kind words would be really appreciated rn ;.;

its been a hard couple of months. I'm relapsing into some deep depression and developing new disorders I thought i was safe from? also tonight my best friend's cat died.

I was on call when it started. they think it was a heart attack. he had been feeling very bad and in a catatonic like state for a while before and while they were trying to spoon him some water he just shot straight up and like..gurgle cough meowing? he kinda lost control of his body and then threw up and made this awful screeching noise. they had to hang up and go get their mother. after like 10 minutes or so (probably not even that) of them not calling back I called and their mother answered and said he had passed away. He was only 12. I mean I guess that's getting old for a cat but still. I thought he had at least 2 or 3 years left.

not only that but I've made the decision to put my schooling on hold for a while and move home to Louisiana. I had a bad fight with my father and now I'm just trying to forget it now and move on. need to pack all my stuff, add extra luggage to my flight in December, and get my cat registered so she can travel with me. I'll have to leave the other kitty here with my father. its safer for her anyways. in Louisiana, I can't guarantee she'll stay inside, and there my mom's neighbor is crazy and has stolen my cats before and dropped them off far away. my fluffy baby is just so adventurous. and my dad loves her anyways so...it best she stays.but my other kitty is just so attached to me. if I left her she would die. plus I couldn't imagine being away from her for more than a few weeks. even then it's so hard. shes literally my child. where fluffy girl is more of a social butterfly and is attached to lots of people. I know she'll probs be confused and a bit mournful in her own kitty way when I don't come back after a few weeks. but shes a resilient little girl, so in the end, she'll be okay. I'm gonna miss her so much, but I know I'll still come up to visit my family from time to time so at least ill get to see her then.

life is just really beating me up right now.


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