[The taste of lemonade on your lips, homemade but poorly made, too much sugar and not enough lemon. The citrus is a ghost on your tongue and swallowing it down is harsh and gritty. But the ice is soothing against your skin when the heat is beating you down into the dust of the old road people tell you not to wander down.]
Y'all I was so excited to drink this!!! Sakura Scented Nectar Peach. Its sweet (almost syrupy but in a good way) and fruity with a floral underlying flavor. I live love love it! It is literally pureed white peach with sakura extract. And absolute delight to drink! I'm going to look into getting more of this limited availability drink.
This house is haunted.
Yes people have died here, but they were already wanderers. It would be ridiculous to say they would stay in a place like this.
It goes without saying, that if a place holds enough negative energy for so long, it will attract things. Other energies? Spirits? Ghosts? Sometimes they stay long enough to get stuck there. Our negative influence in the living realm can bind them to a place and even deform them.
I think at least.
I see her sometimes and wonder, "will she be here forever?"
If this house wasnt haunted, it will be when my family dies. I can't tell if this place or my bloodline is cursed. But I know now that what's happened here will keep a lot of souls from...heaven or reincarnating. The damage is done. There wasnt time to heal.
Thinking about that one time when the guy guarding the tomb of the unknown soldier in D.C. yelled at me to stop leaning on the guard rails.
And in other news I think I'm seeing things e.e
Major ed tw.
I'm not trying to glamorize anything. I'm not pro-ED. Just a disclaimer
Maybe I shouldn't out myself here but I need to vent where none knows me I guess.
I binged today. I binged so.much that my stomach is swollen. I'm already fat but now i feel even fatter and worse out of control. I just need to take control of myself. Idk where the willpower came from those 6 months I basically starved myself. Since I moved home to Louisiana I can't restrict at all. I just keep binging over and over. I dont even purge anymore I just fucking eat. In my head I keep telling myself "loose the next 90 pounds " and for a a few hours maybe even a day I can believe in myself but then I just fuck it up.
And I know it's wrong. I know wanting to loose like this is wrong. I lost 53 pounds like that. But I'm still just over 200 pounds and I feel so worthless and gross. But.i.keep.binging. it just doesn't stop. I eat and eat and eat. Maybe I fast for 20 hours at some point but it's all ruined by 3000+ intake during these binges in which I dont purge.
I know my mental well being is getting worse. And my physical is getting worse too. I'm controlled by my emotions and food and sex (with a guy I should not be seeing at all. I mean he's made it more than clear I'm just an object for him to possess and not a worthy person to date). Uhg...everything just sucks.
I want to be thin. But I'm scared of the stretched skin. I wanna exorcise but I'm so sick and tired and sad and angry.....
I dont know what to do with myself